I Want To Live In A Republic Serial

 Howdy friends!  I Toast And Salute you in greeting!

I want to Tell A Secret to you:  I love those old Saturday Matinee serials!  Okay, maybe that's not much of a secret.

Just in case you're new around here, I'll give the obligatory summary:  Back in the 30's and 40's when you went to the movies you got to see, like, two main features and a selection of short features.  The main features were full length movies which would last anywhere from one to two hours long.  Short features, or short subjects were a half an hour or less and included newsreels, cartoons, travelogues, short humorous films, and serials.  Serials were episodic stories with little plot and lots of action, they were designed primarily for younger audiences.  You had to come back each week to see each chapter of the story, sort of like a TV show, except you had to go to the movies to see it.

Serials were often based on comic strips, comic books, and pulp stories, but also featured several original characters who were inspired by these.  After all, original characters didn't have to be licensed for use like trademarked characters did.

Sometimes the heroes were super-heroes like Superman or Batman, or the Shadow or the Spider.  But more often they were police detectives, or government agents, soldiers, boat captains or news reporters.  Sometimes they were a little more exotic, like stunt pilots or carnival daredevils.

But it doesn't seem to matter much what their occupation is, people in serials seem to all be exceptional examples of mankind!  Generally speaking, there's a Hero and two or three Trusted Sidekicks.  They fight against the machinations of the Mysterious Villain, whose identity they cannot confirm until one of the last two chapters of the story.  The Villain has an extensive gang of expendable characters and two or three major Henchmen.  

These are the main characters in the serial, and they appear in every chapter.  There are some tertiary characters, usually including police chiefs, kindly scientists, or corporate or government benefactors.  These tertiary characters also have a good chance of surviving the story, though they may occasionally get kidnapped and placed in a life-threatening trap.

The Hero and his Sidekicks encounter the Henchmen and engage in a fistfight in every chapter!  No one ever seems to get seriously hurt (unless they are an expendable, nameless thug, and even then, they often get arrested).  The worst that usually happens is someone getting KO'd just long enough to think they're going to burn up in the fire, or get blown up by the impending explosion.

But that's not all!  These major characters display a countless array of astounding skills!  They can run, jump, climb, and swim!  I don't know about you, but that's more than I can do.  They can drive a car, ride a motorcycle, ride a horse, pilot a boat, pilot a plane!  They can indulge in repeated wrestling and fisticuffs that demolish all the furniture in the room!  They can fire guns (with all the accuracy of an Imperial Stormtrooper, but still, they know how)!  They can fire a bow and arrow, use knives, use swords, use weird laser cannons stolen from the good-hearted scientist who invented it!  They drive cars by standing on the running board and then jump before they go over the cliff!

Wow!  I wish I could do half of that stuff without getting so much as a scratch!  Is it cheesy?  Yes!  Yes it is!  But that's why I say I want to live in a Republic Serial!  ...Well, okay, it wouldn't have to be a Republic Serial, because serials were basically the same whether they came from Republic, or Mascot, or Universal, or one of the others!

What movie, TV show, or book would you like to live in?  Love to hear about it in the comments below!


Until then, I wish you all...

Good Adventuring!
Timothy A. Sayell